I pulled this from my social media. Would like to try to use this blog more to collect just training/event stuff. Plan to update the site with better content as well. The event I talk about below was from 9/29/16
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D.O.R.
Drop On Request
It means "I quit"
A couple of weeks ago I attempted my first GoRuck Heavy....and failed....early. For those who don't know, a GoRuck is generally a military style team based endurance event where you march around with around a 40# ruck (backpack) broken up by different forms of PT (physical training)....push ups, burpees, thrusters, etc. At any given moment, you may also be required to carry "coupons" (additional weight) beyond your pack, which may be sandbags, logs, teammates, etc. The different levels of the standard GoRuck events are as follows:
Light - ~5 hours, ~10 miles, average completion 100%
Tough - ~12 hours, ~20 miles, average completion 94%
Heavy - ~24 hours, ~40 miles, average completion 50%
I've done both a Light & Tough with little to no problems. I knew the Heavy would be much tougher, but wanted the challenge...at least when I signed up a year ago I did. To the casual observer, I train plenty for these events, but any seasoned veteran will recognize my training the past year has been half-assed at best. Sure, I did all the big movements (12 mile speed ruck, overnight ruck, heavy coupon ruck) but I didn't really push things. The day-to-day workouts were also lacking, both in quantity & quality. On days where "life happened", I would choose to skip the workout instead of making something, no matter how minimal, happen. To really screw things up, I decided to sign up/train for my first full marathon this December and knock off my first half-marathon (as part of said marathon training) just 4 days prior to the Heavy. Burning the candle at both ends to say the least. Really dumb idea for most people, especially someone pushing 40 who just really got into racing/rucking/endurance events about 3 years ago.
In spite of my awareness of these training shortcomings, I figured I was strong enough & could will my way through the event. I'm reasonably in shape & it worked for me at the Tough over a year ago. Surely I was at least twice as strong mentally & physically than a year ago, even if it was by way of a half-assed training regimen. I started to get my usual game day focus late Tuesday, maybe all day Wednesday. I couldn't think of anything other than the event & ways to prepare & push through. I was a less than stellar father/husband because I was so inside my head thinking about the event (apologies to my family). Took Thursday off so I could rest up & make final preparations for the event...and that's when I started to realize this was going to get ugly. My mental state in the morning went beyond focus into pure tunnel vision. I was incredibly nervous, to the point where I sent a text to my wife expressing my nerves. I tend to play my cards pretty close to the chest, so this is a big thing....to admit weakness. After getting her "you'll be fine" responses, talking to my battle buddy (Mar) and getting some rest/food in I felt fine in the afternoon. I had the mindset now that if I could get through the initial PT Test & Welcome Party (typically the hardest part of the event) and last until midnight, I would be ok the remaining 18 hours. The bulk of the event after PT Test is just droning miles....move with a bunch of weight....and I can usually shut the pain out of my mind and just get it done.
I get to the start point in Fort Worth feeling in good spirits. I'm laughing and chatting with the rest of the team. I'm quite a smart ass by nature and like to try to keep the mood light. Probably a tactic I picked up watching years of M.A.S.H. where Hawkeye & the crew would use ridiculousness to escape the horror of war. If I was "going to war" I was going to laugh it off. Cadre Brad & Cadre Chad (the event leaders) do the usual clerical stuff of introductions, roll call, gear check, safety briefing, etc. Then it's announced that instead of starting with the usual PT Test movements, we're starting with the 12 mile road march. Mar and I are OK with this since we know the usual time cut is 3.5 hours & we did a similar run in training right at 3 hours flat. Unfortunately, this is where my night ended. Probably 3 miles in, I started feeling twinges in my hips, right knee, upper back, etc. All stuff that is more or less normal for rucking, but typically shows up much later in the game for me. My toes are slamming into the fronts of my shoes and then the doubts krept in. I started thinking about all the reasons I didn't want to be there....too hard, waste of time, would rather be with my family, anything but this. A large chunk of the team had already powered on to finish the ruck (this initial part is individual, not team based per se) with 4-5 of us trailing behind. I powered through to finish in what felt like roughly 20 minutes behind the rest of the pack, but I felt like I was going to be a hindrance to the team should I move on. I sat with Mar discussing things for a bit and right before the team moved on I walked up to Cadre Brad & notified him of my intention to drop. He seemed kind of shocked & said I had a very good time in the ruck. I told him where I was mentally & physically and he accepted my drop. I sat in the Jeep for a moment, posted the cryptic "dor" post so I could more or less tag the moment & drove home.
The past couple of weeks, I've tried to work up this write up. Been reflecting on things & trying to get back into the roll of marathon training. Also considering if I will attempt another Heavy. This weekend has been GoRuck Selection. I'm not going into specifics of the event, but rest assured it's loads tougher than what I have ever attempted. Several people I consider men among boys (in a community made up of virtual beasts) have dropped from the event. But seeing the work they have put in has inserted new direction in my life. At this point, I will focus on marathon training, but WILL do another Heavy. It has to be the right place as travel is difficult for me, but once I find the right event, it will be my focus with 100% training in the lead up. January 2017 starts the search for redemption. I'll turn 39 next year. Heavy by 40....accept nothing less. And eat plenty of peanut buttah (GRS people understand).
